Me against myself

I know I'm not having a crush on anyone. But my heart and brain wants to be in a relationship so damn much. So it still goes into overdrive and thinking too much and far, and adding some spiciness in too (result of watching too much drama). Not good. Not good at all. 

Yes my brain just can't stop matching me with ANY guys. Seriously I can't stand my brain at all. This is taking too much of a toll on me. But it also makes me more mindful of my own actions. Sooo is being mindful good? Nahhh not much of a silver lining there. Coz when I'm mindful, one minute I am chionging straight ahead, and suddenly when it clicks that perhaps I shouldn't be doing this, then I go waaaaay into retract mode then the awkwardness will come. And I will not know what to do or say. 

Dear brain, 

WHY OH WHY is that 男女授受不亲 phrase forever stuck inside! If this carries on I will NEVER get a boyfriend =.= 

Why brain, WHY ARE YOU SO CONFLICTING?

Signing off,

Little Miss lonely :(

PS I am thankful for my pillow, for providing me with comfort and neverdying love, allowing me to have  something to hug and kiss, through all those depressing nights. Loves my chou-chou~