I never initiated anything, and if I do its actually for my own selfish reasons because I don't wanna be alone. One day retribution will definitely come when I can no longer find anyone around me...
I need to stop being so self-centred. My friends all have a life and they do not revolve around me. I need to stop being so afraid of commitment. I can bury myself into work, but I can't manage to do the same for my friends.
Both work and friendship requires time to nurture and maintain. But it just seems I can only manage with just 1 of the 2. Family is somewhat different because all I need to do is just be present. When it comes to friends, attendance is not enough. So much more thought and communication is needed. Appreciation is required as well, and I am a wooden block when it comes to this.
Sudden realisation that I am in HK and I have no friends to buy anything for. Until my sis reminded me that I need to buy for Rachelle then i realised that I am very bad that I didn't get anything for anyone. I was like "I have no friends, only a bunch of forever hungry colleagues that I definitely need to bribe". And that's it. Another selfish motive.
Now is it too late to turn back to get more goodies for my friends who I never know when I will meet... Sigh. Its really hard to manage time :(
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