New Year’s eve and day

Me and Ryan have finally got our differences settled, and back to being the super loving and overly touchy couple again (Oops).

It feels super good to iron out all the bad feelings, to resolve our own selfish thoughts, and go back to being how we were when we first started, and being even closer now. I will be giving him time to slowly wean off his dating apps. After all we started off too quickly and pretty sure he haven’t had enough time to get over that fact and destroy those habits that were nurtured because of those dating apps. Not even sure how I managed to get him to understand, but it was through a lot of long texts, and my angsty feelings which probed him to think for me as well. So glad that eventually he realised what he was doing was harmful to me, and I am even more glad that his decision is to continue being with me. ❤️

Although I really do have my flaws, such as my lack of planning, impromptu-ness, not having enough time for him, and end up relying on him to do all the work, but I really enjoy every single moment of being together with him, helping each other out for the littlest things. Its really not the activities that matter. I am content just sitting beside him and not needing to do anything~ Which was why I eventually suggested that if all else fails we should go to a cafe and nua for hours. HAHA. Guess he got a bit scared of that too LOL.

Anyways, I spent almost the entire New Year’s Eve with him. It was a super rainy day (non stop raining from 10am on 31sr until 3pm on 1st), but we managed to get from my house to Parkway Parade (YAY to free shuttle!). And then walking around PP looking for umbrella and ended up buying a $10 umbrella from Challenger. Like who knows Challenger sells umbrellas other than electronics?! When we wanted to leave PP, rhe sky cleared up and the rain stopped (finally!), so we went to the hawker centre to get a cheap dinner (less than $10 for 2 🙃). I do like the way he does his budget control, its really good to be mindful of your spending, such that we could have better used that amount to spend on other things. I have been living quite lavishly on good lunches, so its good to have him control my food spending too!

After dinner was when we started our search of ofo bikes (COZ ITS FREE), got 2 and started cycling to marina~ Lucky for the midway bike change, else I might really have difficulty going up the bridge.  Went to the breakwater further up marina barrage,  then to the super crowded marina barrage, then back to gardens east to warch 1 round of 9pm fireworks before it started raining and we headed to tanjong rhu bridge to seek shelter. And hobo in that shelter all the way till 4am~

His singing voice is actually super calming and gentle. Though not the best pitch, but it sounds super good coz it sounds like he is singing for me 😍 And I love how he does everything and prepared for everything, such that I never need to worry at all. And lying beside him watching him sleep is also the best feeling ever. Then feeling safe in his arms while i slept is also a super good feeling <3 Having his face so close to mine, our random kisses, his warm hands touching me... totally perfect night 😍❤️

Anyways 4+am we cycled in the rain to City Hall (which was really crowded max), before heading to the airport at 6+ for breakfast and to meet his family. Legit the whole family already HAHAHAHA. And now I know why he is the only one left on the shelf hmmmm. His bros really more goodlooking and buff OOPS. But pretty sure Ryan is the one with the best heart, most similar character to me, and really 不嫌弃我 ❤️

His family is really quite cute and friendly. Very humourous. All the comments after they see me, quite epic funny sia HAHAHAH. And really can tell they are a super close knit family, like even closer than mine. No wonder he always HTHT with his parents. Super loving and fun family~


(Non New Year post ahead)
And because we just had the same disagreement again of how I am gonna meet my friends instead of him on the coming Friday, I feel so guilty yet again. I want more nights like new year night, and more time to spend together with him. But somehow I want to meet my friends too, especially since they are the most innocent ones coz they don’t know that I am in a relationship. How can I be so selfish to want the best of both worlds? Me OT-ing half the time for work, and now I am left with so limited time for personal use. And yet I have to meet him more than I should meet my friends. Not that I am angry, but I think it’s my fault that I didn’t even try to push away my friends by saying I can’t make it. Its like I don’t respect Ryan’s time at all and kept his hopes up, only to send it crashing down again just because I have other commitments. For this reason, I might not want to do NDP this year. Anyways NDP was all along because I was bored with noone else to meet which was why I started on it.

I really need to put him as my number 1 priority, stop giving him false hopes and empty promises, have better time management and less procrastination. All these are my absolute flaws which I should be working to change them... I am really not as perfect as I wish to be. But I should try for the sake of myself, and for everyone present and future who loves me.