Annoying

Idk if its coz they are really annoying, or that i'm just feeling irritated these days. 

There's this guy whom we're going with for our london trip (JL), who keeps trying to act cute when he's not. Yesterday, me & gloria felt he was really irritating coz he didn't have anything to do but still doesn't want to help us plan for paris. N he keeps talking crap and nitpicking our research. 

People who know me knows i'm very quiet and kind (those people who are coughing go see a doc :P) and seldom gets annoyed by people. You may hate me, but i definitely don't hate you. My friends know i don't get angry easily. But i still do get pissed off and its these few months that i've been more easily pissed off 0.0 Maybe my hormones started late. Like really late... 

Weirdly, i am more pissed off with those guys who talk a lot of crap and do nothing. Those like Justin. Girls who do that are just bimbos. Whom i easily ignore and don't even get pissed. I am the straightforward type, so if i'm pissed i don't bother hiding it. Well if i have been pissed at you recently, i'm sorry, but perhaps you're at fault too. And both of us shall do our reflections and improve ourselves. 

And there's annoyance. After such a long and peaceful exam period, i had a hard time getting accustomed to lijing's hyper-ness. Much so i felt like asking her to stop talking. But that's my fault. A sudden change to a talkative environment really throws me off track. Yeah the first 2 hours was hard coz i needed lots of getting used to. But things get better and easier after several hours HAHA. 

And to answer lijing's question (not like she will read this) about me & KK, we did not quarrel. We just kinda drifted apart coz i no longer tell him the things he want to know. We are still friends. And who says friends have to talk to each other every single day in order to qualify. Not much of a common topic so i won't bother talking to him as much. Anyways, i am still waiting for that day where he will finally let the cat out of the bag and reveal his feelings in front of her whom i know all too well. *ahem this is such a big clue* HAHAHAHA. Ppl who read my blog and know them are gonna get super entertained man! I know i am XD

Am i hiding back into my shell again? Because i kinda lost faith in the male population... Good ones are all taken, bad ones are really rotten to the core. HAHAHAHA. Ok i should stop being so judgemental and give everyone a chance. Easy to say but hard to do. I'm sorry i really have some prejudice against guys ><

And HO CAI ER is that a boyfriend i see?!? That you have not told me about?? RAWR what kinda friend are u! Why u no say! BTW i'm assuming its that guy in your paris pictures... (Then again HCE doesnt know i have a blog so she won't ever see this HAHAHA)

AHHH the going crazy from loneliness girl~ 

HO-LI-DAYSSSSS

Exams are officially over!!! My 3 months holidays start now! The holidays are actually a little too lengthy hahahaha. But its a well deserved break! Even though i don't think i studied a lot...

I'm feeling a bit of regret after seeing a friend from SIM get accepted into NTU. Perhaps if i tried applying again i could get in... But i am still happy here in SIM. As long as i can find a job after i graduate that is. 

Now that exams are over, i will need to get some things over and done with. I actually wrote down a to-do list during my exam period. Now i am procrastinating about doing those tasks... Forever procrastinating when i have things to do. Hopeless me. 

Of course the list is not in order of importance. But play is at the top of what i want to do, but its at the bottom of what i should do. Hahahaha. If you get what i mean. Forever geek. Peace~ ✌

Random side notes: ah boys to men going to my secondary sch for some sch tour (fan meet). Why do good things always happen after i graduate! Same for ngee ann. They just celebrated their 50th bday this year and there has been lots of SG TV stars who went... Grayson Chance also went to my primary school long after i graduated. But idk him that well so doesn't affect me much hahahaa. Talking about coincidences between my pri sch and sec sch, here's one: 

YOG happened after i graduated from sec sch and it so happens that my alma maters went to do some tree planting exercise outside shoppes at marina bay sands for this event. Yes i'm always missing out on the fun 😏

Intimidating people

I realised i'm intimidated by good looking people. I dunno why i feel the need to distant myself away from them. Is this really what is called being shy?

Perhaps deep down inside i have feelings of inferiority. Good looking people seem to always get what they want. Kind of perfect in a way. I know its not the case, they are humans too and no humas can be perfect. And these feelings of inferiority prevents me from making a long lasting conversation with any of them.

There's the average looking bunch of friends then (Guys inclusive). I talk so much more easily to them. Somehow i'm not that shy around these people.

I hardly start conversations with people. I find me applauding myself when i do (haha). And so the good looking friend(s) i have actually talked to me first HAHAHA.

And there are actions. Somehow good looking people really do exude some confidence that makes their actions bigger and prominent. And sometimes these actions really makes me feel like staying away. Similarly for the words they use. I don't understand the point of using "babe" after every sentence. I'm not even a babe. At all! =.=

So am i the only weird person out here. First impressions really determines whether u will be friends at all. I know that i will never fully enter their league. There's some instantaneous reaction that cues you not to even try.

By choosing friends, you end up involuntarily choosing the activities you have together. Can't blame anyone but myself for the paths I chose. But i don't regret what i chose though :)

And i never stopped trying to enter the league. Which explains why i still continue going to class gatherings despite all the awkwardness involved everytime. Those people there, really belong to an entirely different league... Perhaps i should swear off going to class gatherings HAHA

#lagpost from weeks ago

AA - Attract Attention

I finally remembered what AA stands for! I used this a lot in sec sch, especially for describing my juniors keke. I think it was an acronym created by yours truly. Unless there's anyone else out there who wants to claim copyrights, but provided u created it first though LOL. 

Well then, this post shall be about how AA i am. Without even me realising it. Sorry if i seemed like a snob T_T I don't even know why i do it and i don't even realise i do it...

I get chided a lot by my dad for showing off. But grades are the only thing about me that is show-offable. I think i'm not good at anything else other than studying, and putting 100% effort and perfectionism into certain things i do. And studies is one of them. And besides, i only show off a lot in front of my parents in hope that they can feel proud of me... I guess some efforts go unappreciated huh. 

If i seem proud in any other ways, please just tell it straight to my face. I swear i will reflect and change. I need to have things brought to my attention or else i will never know about it. I am sorry for all the wrong things i have done.（ ｉ _ ｉ ） 

And then when i get too humble i get picked on by KK again. Tell me where's the balance in life? Le sigh. But i guess being humble is still better right? Now i'm going to shut up and not talk forever. 

I have this inferiority complex. Which binds me a little too much. It stops me from doing so many things, because i don't feel like i deserve better sometimes. That inferiority complex perhaps attributes to my want to show off a little. At least it gives me the comfort that i am never the worse. 

I guess there's always a reason behind everything. There's always a reason behind what people do or not do. Hardly ever can you see what's behind the scenes, so don't ever be too quick to judge. 

I haven't exactly found out my reasons behind many of my actions. I'm still looking for that 1 miracle where it can change my actions, thoughts and behaviors. But to achieve that one miracle, i will need to continuously and actively search for it, and the process of doing so will be life-changing. Yet i am still hesitating and not doing anything towards it, other than wishful thinking and overactive imaginations, because i fear leaving my comfort zone. 

Isn't the aim of life to be happy and contented always? I know that i can be even more happy and even more contented than i am now, as long as that one miracle happens. But it's not anytime soon. I doubt it's even achievable this year ㅋㅋㅋ

#whatpubertydidtome

That hashtag has been trending on twitter for a few days liao. N most people are posting some drastic changes of their baby photos and what they look like now. OF COURSE THE CHANGE IS DRASTIC LAH. U think from baby until after teenage years u won't grow at all meh =.= 

The posts by trollers are way more fun to read HAHAHA. I particularly like that one  that says puberty makes me look like a truck ran over my face. 

Anyway, my 1 cent worth about the topic. Puberty did nothing to me. Seriously. But that also means i didn't have pains while growing up 😂 Same face, same look, same old me. With poorer complexion only though. Perhaps there's a lack of female hormones in me coz the frontal assets department is still as lacking HAHAHA. 

Ok enough joke. Back to studying 😪