I am a boring person

Enough said.

Because I laugh too loud?!

WTH so my parents are telling me not to watch videos or shows just because i laugh too loud? What in the world is this... Seriously what's wrong with laughing loudly man! I doubt i'm disrupting any neighbours. I'm just disturbing my parents from watching their own show =.=

I know it's not a very girly thing to do but who cares. I'm at home and i have the right to laugh all I want. Don't they understand that laughter is a form of release. N i hardly laugh outside! 😡😡

Just because i'm studying in the living room and using the desktop and watching tv, doesn't mean i'm not studying. I know my limits and i know when i need to do what i need to do. They should instead be more concerned about what my sister is doing man. Just because she hides in the room away from TV, doesn't mean she's studying. Her earphones are plugged into her laptop and she's watching videos and fb-ing and MSN-ing...

I have nothing to hide while she has loads of stuff to hide! Damn. They should start diverting their attention away from me and start opening their eyes to what my sis is doing.

I kind of can't wait till I move to my sengkang house, where i get my own room where i can hide in there all i want. Coz now i've got to share and there just ain't any space for me.

Memories

Suddenly thought of the time where a few of us hid inside the toilet to cry during Guides in Sec3. One of the kind seniors told us off during drill. N peck hui later went into the toilet to cry. I sensed something wrong, so when drill started, i asked for permission to look for her. N she was there, sitting there n crying with another senior (i think chanel) beside her.

I don't really remember what happened in the toilet, but i soon started crying after trying to comfort her. And later on, cai er n isabelle came in n we all were there crying. I think other seniors (Romaine i think) also came in later and started crying with us.

Okay cry here cry there, but i only vaguely remember that it was because of the pressure that our sec4 seniors put on us. Just coz we were stepping up the following year and we were not good enough. That should be the reasons for the harsh words. But no hatred was developed after this incident coz things were all ironed out later.

I really miss the Guides days. Now there's no more camps for me to go too because i dunno the juniors anymore. CCA was tough, but it was fun too. I remember how we did push-ups on the road, the camps and the nightwalks, the drill sessions and PT sessions. And of course the unforgettable seniors and juniors i have met :')

I bet we all turned awkward because we hardly contact each other anymore. We're getting so busy with life nowadays... Facebook ain't helping me to get closer anyways. It just updates me on what's going on in their lives. More like parallel lines than intersecting lines. But damn we ain't going to organise any meetups soon either. Same way as how 4A used to have gazillions of outings the year after we graduated n then slowly dwindled to nothing 2 years on. That's life.

I'm still envious of people who really form the kind of lasting relationships with a whole bunch of ppl. For me, its just a smattering of individual good friends (who sometimes know each other), and which totals to a digit countable on my fingers :') yeah something's definitely wrong with me i guess.

Dalmatian Officially Missing You

Yeah this is the ❤❤❤ because it's Dalmatian 😍😍 poor Dalmatian they're underrated in Korea... But they're still 👍👍
My favourite version of Officially Missing You 😁

Geeks officially missing you

Nice song!!! But it's coz i like Officially Missing You a lot. Ever since Dalmatian sang it when they debuted 😍
N there's Block B's zico n P.O inside 😁

Life!

Everytime I see something amazing or depressing, thats the one word that comes to my mind anyway. Pretty much summarises all the good and bad happening to this world~

But i use it more in the context that life's unfair, move on and don't forget to celebrate it~ so i don't think i am jealous of the good things happening to my friends. (especially those who are in a relationship, and whom i think they WILL get married LOL. Ok i think too much ^^) but life is interesting, surprising and wonderful as it is.

AND i bet my sis IS really in a relationship with Grayson~ all those SMSing,MSNing and whatsapping practically 24/7 with him is an obvious enough hint. And the fact that she pretty much goes out with him most of the time makes it just even more obvious. I confirmed it through the message "love you good nites" when my sis asked me to unplug her phone. (definitely not trying to invade ppl's privacy) I haven't been there done that but doesn't mean i don't know how to read the signs (and messages kyahaha).

Well, my sister doesn't know that i know but she needs to thank me. I haven't told my parents anything about him, just saying that she goes out with friends. And if my mum ask which friend i would just say idk which. Well i really don't know which but i also can't be bothered about the work that follows thereafter the question should i really know the answer. HEHE. AND she might be grounded should they know she's in a relationship and her grades are slipping~ WAHAHA. I'm the sucha thoughtful sister.

Now comes the question. Should i really ask her whether she and grayson is really together??? I'm shy i don't like asking such personal questions...

Anyways, LIVE LIFE AND LOVE LIFE ^^

P.S. I still havent got round to doing my fav quotes column 😪

Beating about the bush

Don't understand why some people just can't go straight to the point sometimes. That never fails to make me lose trust in a person. Yes i'm slower than most and always take a longer time to get the intended meaning of one, and thats why i hate it when people expect me to guess what is it you're hinting at.

I have had too many bad experiences where i believe too easily and end up getting cheated (well monetarily not my poor heart that suffers). So i always get my guard waaay high up. Once bitten twice shy, and i'm never the kind to get cheated in a similar way twice. I'm gullible, not stupid.

To those people whom i barely know: stop trying to persuade me into certain things. I know i'm nice but that's not the way you should be going about doing things. Don't make me guess your ulterior motive. Perhaps if you downright laid the facts proper i could have trusted you. Well, i shall do what i do best and start avoiding and ignoring.

I always try my best to continue a conversation, and it's a feat for me to carry it on or even initiate one. I ain't genuinely interested in many things and i always take so much effort to try to converse properly. (I kinda sound autistic but i'm not and it's a totally different topic here) I admit i'm sorry if i ever ignored anyone accidentally. It's bloody hell because of people trying to sell something or promote something which is why i tend not to trust people. I'm a bit old to be worrying about kidnappers, but i still do have thoughts of being abducted. And because i know that i can't handle certain matters in person as well as i can behind a computer or a phone, which is why i reject (sometimes not so nicely) people whom i hardly know who ask me to meetup.

My trust doesn't come that easily, especially in sweet talking dudes who approach me to buy some stupid insurance or whatnot. I have enough of those nonsense, all the insurance, MLM and business partners talk. It's not for a student like me. Don't make me become the bane of sales promoters; the one who doesn't listen, who's rude and totally irritated with that permanent scowl on the face.

Same goes to the weird ladies who are trying to pull me into going to your church. I don't have anything against christainity but you don't need to actively try to make me a christian. Please have some respect for other religions even when i don't have one. Well, at least i handle these weird ladies better than those honey spitting salesmen.

Ear Piercing

So i got a pair of earrings for my birthday. Now my mum is like asking me to go pierce my ears kind of ASAP. But i need more time to get mentally prepared >.<

Books vs Dramas

This is pretty much a senseless and useless post. Just coz it's 4am and idk why i'm still not sleeping.

But it's about preferences~ getting so addicted to reading books now. But after i finish this book i think it'll be back to games n vids hehe.

But i always prefer reading books than watching dramas. And i have a higher tendency of not watching any dramas if its not on tv at a convenient timeslot. That explains why i end up watching the 9pm ch 8 dramas a lot more. Hahaha. Just coz its not too long and its at a time where i am eating my dinner keke.

Whereas i can always manage to sit through and read a whole book. So it's definitely not about short attention span hahaha. But the book as aforementioned is a fiction and not a textbook.

I always like my imagination way better than what is being portrayed in a drama set. Even though in my imagination, all the houses of all the diff books are kinda the same, just with some variations to the places i am familiar with. And imaginary characters are always more perfect than the real life ones. And thats part of the reason why movies that are adapted from books don't end up being nicer than the book itself, especially after reading it. That and the fact that the movies are forever cut, and end up waaaay to short than the book.

The thing about dramas is that you have to find videos to watch it, sit through it and wait for it to buffer and download. And there's bound to be some actor that kinda ruin the show when they don't portray the character as well. Life's much easier with a nice book in a comfy environment.

Variety shows are still better than dramas ^^ A pure good laugh~

N in 15 more minutes or so it will be officially 5am 😱😱 Tsk tsk at my ruined body clock. Just like how i finally manage to move away from my bed only at 3pm today...

Deleted my post on Hwayoung's controversy

Just because the facts that i wrote about ain't true at all. So no point keeping it. Anyway, CCM is still a lousy company and KKS the ceo sucks. The T-ara members, including hwayoung are the most innocent yet they are receiving so much hate from the anti fans. I don't stand on T-ara or hwayoung's side, but 1 thing for sure, I definitely don't stand on KKS side for all his bullshit talks.

But i still express my hate to all the bullies out there 😡😡😡 i dun care whether u are doing physical, mental or cyber bullies. Bullies are really hateful beings!

Though i do know there is always a reason behind everything. And sometimes you just can't help it.

Oh this reminds me that i should do my favourite quotes column on the side of this bloggie ^^

Bullying

Too much going on in my head nowadays. Especially after all the T-ara hoo-ha.

Well what exactly is bullying? Most know it comes in forms other than physical, as there's mental bullying involved also. And then again, everyone's definition of bullying might differ. Ultimately, the biggest bully may just be you yourself.

Just like how everyone's threshold of pain differs, the extent of mental bullying is a particularly vague issue to approach. Some may think that calling names is bullying, while others might think that its still a relatively acceptable behaviour. Some people may not like to mingle with crowds an prefer to be a social outcast, while others may view being outcasted a terrible form of emotional bullying. Whatever it is, the line is very undefined.

A person can get bullied by his classmates at age 5, and can still be bullied at his workplace at age 55. The only thing different is how one views it; and that's the very thing that is keeping you from suffering from depression. You possibly have gotten used to it and become immune to it, or perhaps you have learned how to stand up for yourself against your bullies. Good, cause it shows you have matured.

One can never rid themselves of bullies. There's so many forms of bullies, gang bullies, corporate bullies, government bullies, or even a collective society of harmless people that upon certain circumstances become bullies themselves unintentionally. This pretty much shows how life is never a bed of roses, since those menacing thorns are always threatening to make nasty wounds and scars onto you.

And this, is not called "what goes around, comes around", even if the bullying cycle does repeat in this manner. Anyways, a life of no bullies will never exist, just the same way as how the world will never be rid of people labelled as "bad".


Well, kpop might not be as perfect as it seems, and this T-ara issue might uncover the deepest and darkest side, both of idols and management companies. Word of advice to any company, do not ever mistreat your staff, and never ever try to lie through your teeth. Honesty has always been highly valued in any society, and people would always be quick to criticise the bad, no matter what the reason is. CCM definitely have management issues and character issues, T-jinyo is an anti-bullying fandom set to bully T-ara. Contradicting as it sounds, but still true.

badddd lifestyle

Its officially the holidays, and i am not doing anything other than rotting at home. Pretty much explains my daily routine too.

I wake up after 12 (envious rite!), rummage for whatever food i can find (or just dabao), sit in front of the com n watch video, then start playing maple at around 3+. Then prepare dinner, watch tv, n cont playing maple until 3 or 4 am. Freaking bad lifestyle and screwed up body clock. Bad for my eyes and my neck n shoulders too.

I seriously have no life. Friends i want to meet are overseas/busy n obviously i dun feel like finding a job at all. Oh well maybe i should just find some temp job... To prevent being nagged at. HAIS. How can i be such a slacking anti social?

GAH i really need to go out. For the sake of my future LOLOLOLOLOL

girls vs boys

Ushered a boys school today for NDP. And it made me think about the differences between boys sch n girls sch.

So when i ushered the girls last year, they were more clingy and kept asking me questions all throughout the whole bus journey. The boys i ushered this year played amongst themselves on the mrt ride, preoccupying themselves with diff ways to use the things in the funpack, n of course none of them initiated a convo with me.

Such interesting differences for p5 kids huh. Hahaha. The characteristics of boys and girls are already so imminent at the age of 11. But i really preferred hanging out with the boys even though i spent most of my time stoning, than hanging out with the girls coz i have to keep thinking up of answers to their endless questions.

Ok i'm weird. But i'm still awesome! ^^ Ok that was random.

Oh well i enjoyed myself today. And lotsa self reflection for this learning journey~

And hi to cai er who landed in switzerland today. So shiok rite!!!! Poor me stuck in this lil island while i watch my friends all going to different parts of the world to study. HAIS.

I think my sister is attached!

Well I do think my sister is attached. Either that or the guy likes her ^^ Whatever it is. I saw some (NO i don't invade her privacy) whatsapp from grayson while i was using her phone~ so i think the guy is GRAYSON. Not grayson chance whatever teenager idol he is. Oh one of the whatsapp is "how is my baby doing?". Sounds sweet rite! But then thinking about it baby can just refer to his favourite object too... And my sister's phone n msn is always jam packed with his messages uh (wiggles eyebrow). ~_~

I'm not jealous i'm happy! HAHAHA. I'm weird. Whatever is with younger siblings getting a bf first. Just hope that the older one doesn't get left on the shelf only. First xiang ying got a bf way before cai er even had one. And for that matter, do u think cai er is attached???? I'll kill her if she didn't tell me.

I for one definitely is still single, available & very free~ and i don't have many guy friends who i routinely hang out with (or u can just say I have none; unless u decide to count my dad as a guy whom i always hang out with), nor do i have MANY attached girl friends. So whatever~ i won't ever be the only forever alone. I know many many more forever alones and so we are together alone! Totally loving this tagline from 9gag.

HELLYEAH TOGETHER ALONE! So sadistic sia...

oh sidenote: my life is full of geminis~ so do i always need to see two-faced bitches? HAHA. Maybe there's somehow always this magnet that attracts me to befriending geminis and all the two faces...

But does gemini really have 2 faces????? XP

Graduation Blues

CONGRATS ALL OF US WE HAVE OFFICIALLY GRADUATED FROM NGEE ANN!

The grad ceremony n grad nite has whizzed passed oh so quickly already. Really, there were so many bittersweet memories that we have encountered in our 3 years of poly life.

I will always remember the me in Year 1, as usual feeling unknown to my surroudings, but with luck being together with people i know in the camps and in my classes. But usually, the first years in schools often consists of people who slowly drift apart, n more closer friendships are forged with others. Even until the point where a clique of your own was formed, the opportunities to continue befriending everyone else still continues.

As we sat down at Harry's at Holland V last night after the Grad Nite, i realised that most of these people there did not exactly start with me from Year 1 Sem 1. In fact, i only knew them better because they are the friends of my friends, who kinda drifted apart from them n somehow we all ended together here. We may not have enjoyed many clique outings together, but i certainly look forward to the ones which will be planned. (aka sabo-ing me to be the planner)

Nothing bad happened at grad ceremony (other than the embarrassing fact that i looked grouchy in the video coz i didn't smile after taking my "cert"), and it was all fun and joy, taking photos together with close friends and just friends~ even cai er came down to NP to celebrate my graduation. Sorry that i neglected her because i was still busy taking photos with whoever was left in the CC. Dinner together with cai er and my family at MOF after that. Really my bestest friend of 13 years and counting <3

Ytd was the Grad Nite 2012, held at Alumni Clubhouse. I guess the place wasn't that much of an issue for me, but the food was really terrible n the drinks were too. But thank you the organisers for all the fun games, awesome performances and awkward emcee speeches~

And definitely a big thank you to the lecturers and tutors who have taught us. Even though some of your teaching methods may not be approved by all, but we still know in our hearts your passion for teaching and your care and concern for us students~ Even though you may not remember the less significant us, n even though i can't remember your names nor which modules u have taught us, but still thank you <3

And then to all my friends out there, thank you all of you! As i told Rachelle, I may not remember all those nicknames u have "bestowed" upon me, but i will definitely respond to it. You have been part of my blissful 3 years in NP, my beloved project group members and study buddie (slacktime/playime buddies too). I believe 10 years down the road, you will really become what you want to be.

For now, we have to part ways (sadly enough). Guys gotta do their mandatory NS (there goes all my guy friends) n girls gotta continue their studies or work, albeit overseas or in local unis or local private unis (bye my good friends all going to different places from me 😢😭). It's gonna be me, alone with myself, and looking forward to the new peeps i gonna meet in future!

I won't forget all of you! We will stay in touch and meet up soon~ As usual, the future may be uncertain but as long as there's a will, there will be a way!~

Miss you all peeps from NP!

graduation day?

Graduation ceremony is coming soon!! On 22 may!~

I think graduation day would be funny. My 3 rumoured boyfriends along with the respective batches of friends who created the rumours will be there~ HAHAHA It's still quite funny why they like to create rumours for me. N yes i will conveniently avoid these ppl aft the rumours =.= and they will too~

Graduation day is gonna be a blast still!! Looking forward to it!

P.S. so many of the ppl i know have graduated with a diploma with merit. Zai max! Grats n i spent about 1 hour to get over my shock, disappointment in myself, n how bloody smart they are even if they never claimed it. 1 hr is really a lot since i dun stay feeling bad for long. Oh n along with the 2 other ppl i know that got the lee kuan yew award, grats! All of you freaking smart asses who in a way had done MF proud~

love?

I have been reading people's emotions from their eyes. I finally realised that true love is not a fictional thing; it does exists. But just that it may not always be the sweetest ever thing everyday.

I have seen the love that my father has for my mother in his eyes, when he was departing alone for a company trip for a week. He had touched my mother's face and bid his goodbyes.
I had also seen the same expression in my uncle's eyes when he landed back in Singapore from Shanghai. He had kissed his wife on her lips when he saw her.
I saw that same emotion again in my colleagues eyes when a bunch of us went out for dinner on Friday, together with his wife. The way he looked at her when we were silent was that like she was the best thing that ever happened to him.

I had thought that this kind of things only existed in the fairy tale romance novels that i read. But the more roughed up version still does exist in our everyday lives. I hope I don't sound like a jealous creature, because i am definitely not. This kind of true love really makes those infatuation teenagers go through like some totally insignificant thingy.

I swear i am going to find a man who looks at me in that same manner!! But for now, back to my romance novels ^^

RIP my grandma

My grandmother passed away at around 3pm today. She lived to a ripe old age of 80 and died from pancreatic cancer that spread through her whole body.

She was the one who brought me up through my 19+ years of life. She battled through many illnesses in her life, and dearly loved her grandchildren. Her health had took a downturn after my grandfather's death, but she stayed strong for 5 years after he left us.

This departure of my closest family member will always sadden me. How i wish it was just a false alarm, but i know i need to get back to reality. She had taught me so many things; and she will remain as my role model who i will look up to. I regret not spending even more time with her. I wished that she will still be here when i have my own family, but this wish will never be fulfilled.

I will be strong. RIP my beloved grandma.

Thanks for all my friends who stood by me n who expressed their condolences. Now I will standby my family members and help them tide through this. I will be fine.