Kaypo me 😁

So now this bagua girl has gotten wind of another relationship XD when Alvin was having all those suicidal thoughts its coz of Gee. Omg the most unexpected relationship ever. All this while i thought it was Stephanie :0 

Damn i wonder who else knows. I'm soooooo damn freaking tempted to tell reb n lh... 

How i knew about it is coz i was sitting beside her for lunch just now n her phone kept on receiving whatsapp from alvin. N then i peeked over while she was replying n i saw "the boyfriend alvin". N so thats one more relationship confirmed LOL

All this while i thought gee wanted to be a "nun" n not get into relationships ahhh. Whatevs its still fun to poke my nose into other ppl's business 😁 Of course i'm doing this secretly~ 

Mehh 2013 has got to be one of the most interesting years! 

Greener grass

An old time phrase: "the grass is always greener on the other side". Well if only I knew where "the other side" is... 

#random

Lesson learnt

Disappointed in myself today for not helping people all the way and not saying thank you enough. I failed in being present for everyone and in being thankful for the little things in life. 

Let this be a lesson learnt. I'm going to do things properly next time 💪

Well i'm not talking about my life though. Hahaha. But i still enjoy my life :)

Look around you and you can find out why is life beautiful. To me, simple acts of kindness between random strangers are enough to make me have a good day. And only remember the good; forget about the bad~ 

And i like seeing inter-racial relationships. It's not something i can do, but i really admire those that are in one now. Really salute 👏 I find it an amazing thing that people love others who are different from them. I really have a lot to learn. It's not a very common sight, but its a beautiful sight~ n mixed blood babies are super cute :x 😂

Ohwell. Cheers and better luck to me finding my other half :)

But let me learn how to carry conversations with any guy first... Thanks i know my brain works amazingly weirdly. Thats why i'm different 😆

There's always a reason to smile,

Because life is beautiful~ :')

想恋想疯了

我不知道我的头脑是在想什么。常常都会过渡的思考。一件很简单的事都能想的很复杂。

一旦有男生和我说话，或在网络上跟我聊的比较长，我会很心动。这不是寂寞是什么？ 真的是想恋想疯了。我都快受不了自己了。明明是不喜欢的， 可是我的心可能就太寂寞，很可望能够谈恋爱吧。还有我这个脑，想出一大堆有的没的场景，一点都不真实的东西。

这已经不是第一次了。从我懂事的时候就这样了！哎。。。一定是我读太多故事书所以才会这样！灵活的想象力。 啊哈哈！

可是我和他聊得曼起劲吗 (^_^*)

Mating season?!

Is there like a mating season for humans?! HAHAHAHAA. Coz all the stories about those despo guys hitting on girls are just too funny 😂

Such entertainment~ so first i get entertained by all of lijing's stories and her fair share of weird despo guys. And now i'm being entertained by all the weird matchmaking sessions going on in AWC. The stories are really one of a kind! 

But will there ever be a guy who will like me? Nevermind i should just continue to be entertained by such simple jokes in life~ HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 

Single guys i dunno whether i should be telling u to stop or to continue. Stop coz the girls are getting so scared. Continue coz i am having such a ball of time hearing the stories~

Omo this is too funny 😂😂😂

Ideal type

Ah the london and paris stories shall come later. Procrastination to be continued. 

I'm going to do this post on my ideal type of namjachingu first. Yes this is some exclusive information!!! Never before told! 

So here goes. My ideal type for a guy!

1) Taller than me. I am about 163cm so the ideal height is above 170cm :) exceptions can be made but please be taller than 167cm... 

2) Stronger (and bigger) than me. I know i am not the weakling "oohhh!!" and "ahhhh!!" kind of girl, but i still want a guy who can protect me and shelter me. By stronger i don't mean muscles, but at least better stamina and more sporty than me please. That said this requirement isn't a lot too. Oh i hope he is someone who likes to walk coz i like long walks :P

3) Communicates well with me. I prefer if the guy leads the conversation rather than me. And communicating with me proves to be pretty hard too XD By communication I mean verbal communication and not IM. I can IM everyone but i can't talk well with anyone~  

4) High determination and steadfast. Who doesn't like a determined guy, full of drive in everything he does :) By steadfast i don't mean stubborn, but rooted to what he wants to be. I guess this is a bonus since this is becoming so damn rare in Singapore...

5) Looks. Idk if this is the least thing that matters or is the most important thing that matters. I hope that he will be presentable thats all. Pleasing to the eye and not some huge hunk okay. But the heart will always matter the most. Good intentions, good thoughtswith a  good heart will eventually shine through everything and affect the looks as well~ 

Well there's so much unsorted information in my head, but that should be all. They say girls are not visual animals, but girls are humans and humans still tend towards attractiveness. But i can't say that for myself since i am not attractive at all. Dilemma uh? 

I can't differentiate between handsome, good looking, or plain average, but i can definitely differentiate between good and bad looking 😆 

And there's the problem with me. I doubt guys ever see me as a girl, coz i behave more like a guy. Not just in the lack of care for the appearance department, but perhaps the sense of protectiveness over my friends, not screaming and shouting at every little thing, and acting a little too tough for my own good sometimes. Are these reasons why i can't seem to find a man who is less girly and more manly than I am? 

I think i am lackluster in comparison with all my girlfriends. Yes i have image complexities. But i love myself and i hate to cover myself with a whole bunch of lies and phoney acts, so noone will ever see me trying to act as who i am not. I am proud of myself and of my upbringing. And that's why i fail at leaving a good first impression... 

I have faith in humanity, so I shall continue to actively search. I really don't want to be the last one left on the shelf. Nearing 21 already but i have never dated, never been asked out, and never felt the sweetness of love. I hope my dream of marrying and having babies before i reach 30 can still come true... 

BACKKKK!!!

Welcome me back to Earth!!!! 😂

Okays first, overseas trip to London and Paris. Twas major love, super fun, totally enjoyed myself, let my hair down n did the things i have never done before 😉 Of course not anything that betrays my self-respect for my body la! I'm fully intact okay! Nothing lost n nothing gone. HAHA. Seriously i can write about what I did there and where I went to forever. And it'll take hours. Not suitable to be done while lying on the bed prepaing to sleep at 3am~ So i shall leave the story telling for another day. 

Previous post was made at the end of May. So almost 3 months passed since i last blogged coz its end of august now. MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING IN 2 WEEKS TIME!!!! I will be turning 21. AND THATS OLDDDDD. How i wish i was still 19 😂 Then i'll have all the time in the world. Ok not exactly too but whatevers hahaha. 

I hoped that month spent overseas did change me. I can't say anything about the changes myself until someone is able to witness it n tell me about it~ or else it will just be a lie hahas. 

Yes i went there empty handed n i still came back with nothing. If u know what i mean HAHAHAHA. OMG sometimes i just can't stand myself with all the lame jokes i make man =.= 

Oh life before overseas was just slacking around at my job. Hahahaha. N life after going overseas is just slacking around at home. Supposed to be planning my own bday bbq chalet but procrastination will always kick in and i will end up doing something else~

I had a hard time thinking about who i should invite. And that means categorizing which friends are close or good or just acquaintances. I swear its all these categorizations that make me unable to make more new friends easily sia! I have this distorted thinking that the longest lasting friends are best friends and all new friends can never be the best. Really wrong thinking so i am trying hard to make things right. But that doesnt mean that my super long lasting friend is not my best friend~ ^^ Still that guest list is really tough to decide. Coz reality hits me hard that i dun exactly have that many friends... Ouch. 

I shall leave the reflections of my 21 years of life to after my birthday. Tmr i might write about my month long trip.

Shall enjoy the last few days of being 20 now~ HAHA. Good night world! My screwed up body clock pretty much shows how much i miss london actually HAHA. 

Annoying

Idk if its coz they are really annoying, or that i'm just feeling irritated these days. 

There's this guy whom we're going with for our london trip (JL), who keeps trying to act cute when he's not. Yesterday, me & gloria felt he was really irritating coz he didn't have anything to do but still doesn't want to help us plan for paris. N he keeps talking crap and nitpicking our research. 

People who know me knows i'm very quiet and kind (those people who are coughing go see a doc :P) and seldom gets annoyed by people. You may hate me, but i definitely don't hate you. My friends know i don't get angry easily. But i still do get pissed off and its these few months that i've been more easily pissed off 0.0 Maybe my hormones started late. Like really late... 

Weirdly, i am more pissed off with those guys who talk a lot of crap and do nothing. Those like Justin. Girls who do that are just bimbos. Whom i easily ignore and don't even get pissed. I am the straightforward type, so if i'm pissed i don't bother hiding it. Well if i have been pissed at you recently, i'm sorry, but perhaps you're at fault too. And both of us shall do our reflections and improve ourselves. 

And there's annoyance. After such a long and peaceful exam period, i had a hard time getting accustomed to lijing's hyper-ness. Much so i felt like asking her to stop talking. But that's my fault. A sudden change to a talkative environment really throws me off track. Yeah the first 2 hours was hard coz i needed lots of getting used to. But things get better and easier after several hours HAHA. 

And to answer lijing's question (not like she will read this) about me & KK, we did not quarrel. We just kinda drifted apart coz i no longer tell him the things he want to know. We are still friends. And who says friends have to talk to each other every single day in order to qualify. Not much of a common topic so i won't bother talking to him as much. Anyways, i am still waiting for that day where he will finally let the cat out of the bag and reveal his feelings in front of her whom i know all too well. *ahem this is such a big clue* HAHAHAHA. Ppl who read my blog and know them are gonna get super entertained man! I know i am XD

Am i hiding back into my shell again? Because i kinda lost faith in the male population... Good ones are all taken, bad ones are really rotten to the core. HAHAHAHA. Ok i should stop being so judgemental and give everyone a chance. Easy to say but hard to do. I'm sorry i really have some prejudice against guys ><

And HO CAI ER is that a boyfriend i see?!? That you have not told me about?? RAWR what kinda friend are u! Why u no say! BTW i'm assuming its that guy in your paris pictures... (Then again HCE doesnt know i have a blog so she won't ever see this HAHAHA)

AHHH the going crazy from loneliness girl~ 

HO-LI-DAYSSSSS

Exams are officially over!!! My 3 months holidays start now! The holidays are actually a little too lengthy hahahaha. But its a well deserved break! Even though i don't think i studied a lot...

I'm feeling a bit of regret after seeing a friend from SIM get accepted into NTU. Perhaps if i tried applying again i could get in... But i am still happy here in SIM. As long as i can find a job after i graduate that is. 

Now that exams are over, i will need to get some things over and done with. I actually wrote down a to-do list during my exam period. Now i am procrastinating about doing those tasks... Forever procrastinating when i have things to do. Hopeless me. 

Of course the list is not in order of importance. But play is at the top of what i want to do, but its at the bottom of what i should do. Hahahaha. If you get what i mean. Forever geek. Peace~ ✌

Random side notes: ah boys to men going to my secondary sch for some sch tour (fan meet). Why do good things always happen after i graduate! Same for ngee ann. They just celebrated their 50th bday this year and there has been lots of SG TV stars who went... Grayson Chance also went to my primary school long after i graduated. But idk him that well so doesn't affect me much hahahaa. Talking about coincidences between my pri sch and sec sch, here's one: 

YOG happened after i graduated from sec sch and it so happens that my alma maters went to do some tree planting exercise outside shoppes at marina bay sands for this event. Yes i'm always missing out on the fun 😏

Intimidating people

I realised i'm intimidated by good looking people. I dunno why i feel the need to distant myself away from them. Is this really what is called being shy?

Perhaps deep down inside i have feelings of inferiority. Good looking people seem to always get what they want. Kind of perfect in a way. I know its not the case, they are humans too and no humas can be perfect. And these feelings of inferiority prevents me from making a long lasting conversation with any of them.

There's the average looking bunch of friends then (Guys inclusive). I talk so much more easily to them. Somehow i'm not that shy around these people.

I hardly start conversations with people. I find me applauding myself when i do (haha). And so the good looking friend(s) i have actually talked to me first HAHAHA.

And there are actions. Somehow good looking people really do exude some confidence that makes their actions bigger and prominent. And sometimes these actions really makes me feel like staying away. Similarly for the words they use. I don't understand the point of using "babe" after every sentence. I'm not even a babe. At all! =.=

So am i the only weird person out here. First impressions really determines whether u will be friends at all. I know that i will never fully enter their league. There's some instantaneous reaction that cues you not to even try.

By choosing friends, you end up involuntarily choosing the activities you have together. Can't blame anyone but myself for the paths I chose. But i don't regret what i chose though :)

And i never stopped trying to enter the league. Which explains why i still continue going to class gatherings despite all the awkwardness involved everytime. Those people there, really belong to an entirely different league... Perhaps i should swear off going to class gatherings HAHA

#lagpost from weeks ago

AA - Attract Attention

I finally remembered what AA stands for! I used this a lot in sec sch, especially for describing my juniors keke. I think it was an acronym created by yours truly. Unless there's anyone else out there who wants to claim copyrights, but provided u created it first though LOL. 

Well then, this post shall be about how AA i am. Without even me realising it. Sorry if i seemed like a snob T_T I don't even know why i do it and i don't even realise i do it...

I get chided a lot by my dad for showing off. But grades are the only thing about me that is show-offable. I think i'm not good at anything else other than studying, and putting 100% effort and perfectionism into certain things i do. And studies is one of them. And besides, i only show off a lot in front of my parents in hope that they can feel proud of me... I guess some efforts go unappreciated huh. 

If i seem proud in any other ways, please just tell it straight to my face. I swear i will reflect and change. I need to have things brought to my attention or else i will never know about it. I am sorry for all the wrong things i have done.（ ｉ _ ｉ ） 

And then when i get too humble i get picked on by KK again. Tell me where's the balance in life? Le sigh. But i guess being humble is still better right? Now i'm going to shut up and not talk forever. 

I have this inferiority complex. Which binds me a little too much. It stops me from doing so many things, because i don't feel like i deserve better sometimes. That inferiority complex perhaps attributes to my want to show off a little. At least it gives me the comfort that i am never the worse. 

I guess there's always a reason behind everything. There's always a reason behind what people do or not do. Hardly ever can you see what's behind the scenes, so don't ever be too quick to judge. 

I haven't exactly found out my reasons behind many of my actions. I'm still looking for that 1 miracle where it can change my actions, thoughts and behaviors. But to achieve that one miracle, i will need to continuously and actively search for it, and the process of doing so will be life-changing. Yet i am still hesitating and not doing anything towards it, other than wishful thinking and overactive imaginations, because i fear leaving my comfort zone. 

Isn't the aim of life to be happy and contented always? I know that i can be even more happy and even more contented than i am now, as long as that one miracle happens. But it's not anytime soon. I doubt it's even achievable this year ㅋㅋㅋ

#whatpubertydidtome

That hashtag has been trending on twitter for a few days liao. N most people are posting some drastic changes of their baby photos and what they look like now. OF COURSE THE CHANGE IS DRASTIC LAH. U think from baby until after teenage years u won't grow at all meh =.= 

The posts by trollers are way more fun to read HAHAHA. I particularly like that one  that says puberty makes me look like a truck ran over my face. 

Anyway, my 1 cent worth about the topic. Puberty did nothing to me. Seriously. But that also means i didn't have pains while growing up 😂 Same face, same look, same old me. With poorer complexion only though. Perhaps there's a lack of female hormones in me coz the frontal assets department is still as lacking HAHAHA. 

Ok enough joke. Back to studying 😪

Procrastination

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/procrastination-is-not-laziness/

This is a really really good article about procrastination. I can relate to this more than the procrastination workshop by rosemary gosling which i attended...

I finally know why i procrastinate. I think it's the fear of uncertainty and the unwillingness to take risks. I am afraid of injuring myself; be it mentally or physically. I am scared that i will never recover from an injury, and so this worrywart prefers to procrastinate. Procrastinating makes things a little better. Hesitating can eventually lead to avoidance. And being able to avoid things as far as possible would perhaps be better for me.

I inferred this from my unwillingness to participate in sports, because i am afraid of falling. I am scared of pain. I really dislike pain. There are deeper emotional reasons involved, which i am not even sure myself.

Maybe it's that fall off the stairs when i was 2. Maybe it's because i can never fit in with kindergarten friends coz i liked to be different. At age 6, when all the girls liked pink power ranger, and i said i liked yellow ranger, insisted on liking yellow, when deep down i actually hated it. And perhaps its from all those other incidents that i don't even have a memory of.

Whatever reason it is, this procrastination habit really has to go. I am always thankful to those friends who pulled me out to study, and watching others study gives me the motivation to study. I am thankful to my parents for being the driving force behin me (to prevent being nagged at, i would do the things i need to do). I am thankful to He Zhou, my senior, who always commented that i am very "strong", finishing my work promptly and accurately. Whether or not he meant it, it has been a good form of encouragement for me especially at work. I guess that's the reason why i always finish my work quickly. Definitely good to work with him.

I am the kind of person who need lots of motivation and encouragement to complete things. Otherwise, i would continue to procrastinate (especially at household chores or shopping for essentials). It's a good thing that i have the habit of giving my all once i get started, but its always the beginning that is hard.

Yes i will not procrastinate at the library tmr! Study hard and all the best for my exams!!

MC Mong - Dalmatian Love

So I heard this song on Big B radio. At first I thought it was some Jay Park song that I never heard before because of the English narration at the beginning. But then I heard Inati's voice OTL. Why oh why am I such a bad DMTN fan that I didn't know this song! Well this was before their debut :D And there's no donglimmie, danielboy, and Jeesu-yah inside but there's Simon! Kekeke. And Intae, Dari and Dayday. Oh how I miss Dari and Dayday and the DMTN boys T_T

Yes I really surprise myself so much by being able to identify their voices on a song I never heard before 0.0

And I linked later to this old performance video!

So cool right! Really a good performance of veteran kpop rapper. Even though he no longer appears in the public eye after the evading army issue. Seriously miss MC Mong (though I have never been a fan) and I hope he comes back soon! N Inati really learnt from MC Mong. Can totally tell the similarities in rapping. Somehow many of the kpop groups will resemble their CEO in terms of music style. Interesting that way~

Paranoid

Perhaps it was just me being a bit too paranoid, craving for attention and a need to be noticed. So i thought one of my friends was reading my blog. Possibly true but i doubt so. Anyways, this blog will continue being full of my random thoughts, used as a tool to make willing parties understand me better.

In secondary school, i never wrote about depeessing things. Its always happy things, or my boring life. After so many years, either the happy things in my life has decreased, or i am no longer as easily happy as i used to be.

Now, i really need to put down all my troubles and give my studies my first priority. I guess its time to not think and not feel, and just concentrate.

I have lots of things i look forward to after the exams! So lets be positive! Fighting JY!

😭😭😭😭😭😭

Too many thoughts in my head. But the title is what I feel. Even though I don't physically cry, I cry in my heart. Which is actually worse right.  I need release. I need to find back the happy me. But will I really welcome the happy me back with open arms? I'm seeking for change. Change in the way I think, mostly. I have to change. And these changes are bringing out the worse in me, not the better me.

I realised I had shut everyone out previously. Keeping people away has made me a slightly more happy person. I did not give a care to the world, I didn't realise that the ppl around me were slowly changing. By the time I realised, which is just recently these few months, everyone is already far ahead. I gave myself the excuse that I was a late bloomer, and things I want and hope for will naturally fall in place. All these fantasies kept my head high up in the clouds such that the fall down to earth was much harder. And here I am, trying hard to keep up,while using more rational sense and logics rather than relying on fairy tale stories.

Sad isn't it? I hope it's not too late that I realised it. Perhaps i should be more proactive and converse more, but that wouldn't be me huh. I feel really sorry. Sorry to those people whom I had unintentionally shut out. Sorry that I even had the thought that you guys are randomly weird. It's me who is the weird one, not you.

Yes, I realised what loneliness is like. I think back on the days of my secondary school, where I had fun disturbing my juniors and friends from other classes, oh so nonchalant about what my friends actually thought of me. In fact, I dismissed off their comments without giving it any thought (It was an unreliable source too). Contrasting it with the me now, I only know how to spend my non-school hours watching tv, studying (abit), and sleeping. I became a high self-monitor, giving more weightage to the norms and social situations, feeling more amd more out of place even when i'm in a crowd. I started to feel that it takes too much effort to talk with my friends. I never know what kind of topic they were discussing. I gave up bonding with anyone.

I never quite got the idea of eye candy. I feel that it's rude to stare. Especially at a stranger's face. Staring at their back or side isn't so bad. They won't know that anyone is looking. And adding my poor memory and my bad eyesight, I tend not to observe my surroundings. So I end up feeling way more lost when my friends start discussing about people. But you can also say that i am attentive in class :)

Ok back to me not talking. This is like the nth time I write about my poor speaking abilities. And mind you it's really the speaking ability and not that I can't express myself with words. Or maybe not the speaking ability but me being unable to stare at a friend's face for too long too. So social media has really destroyed me. People are having their heart talk face to face, while I do it on MSN or whatsapp  in the wee hours. I also know that words can kill. So I tend to rephrase and restructure my words many times over. And technology has definitely made it easier to edit my own words. But I can't do the editing so many times over in the spoken context, making me even more unwilling to speak. Or perhaps it's the fear of speaking stemming from me always saying the wrong things and getting stared down by society.

Whatever it is, i can't avoid the fact that I need to change. For the better.

PS Hi to the person who linked to my blog from my fb. Idk whether I know you, and I do not know whether u actually know me.  It might be good if someone reads my posts and want to actively try to help me in real life. If so, I thank you in advance.

Couple

Chances of them being together and for long are high.

Yes jia yi is here to predict the future ^^

Should i continue to believe in the impossible or should i take the bull with its horns now?

Butttt i'm so curious now about how events are going to unfold!

Ohno more friends as couples means more feelings of loneliness. Poor me. But what if LJ's worst fears become true as well? Ohno ohno ohno

And i'm liking my blog dead :) in the sense that noone ever reads it~

Phantom - Come as you are

Phantom - Come As You Are

New release today! (or more like yesterday)
<3

Lyrics are mainly about how the guys like their girls plain, without makeup and exaggerated forms of dressing. So ladies, just be yourself :)

Horoscope - Virgo!

【处女座】
1、敏感多疑。喜欢胡思乱想，爱钻牛角尖。
2、冷静。即使内心起伏再大也十分理智冷静。
3、害怕失去。总表现得不冷不热让人难以靠近。
4、死要面子爱逞强。即使伤心也表现得十分强势。
5、缺乏耐心有点小自私。讨厌等人自己又爱迟到。
6、傻傻爱着他、帮他做很多事，即使对方不爱自己。
7、追求完美。任何事情都希望做到最好。
8、爱较真。关键时刻敷衍了事，在他身上起不到任何作用。
9、内心温和善良，会一直坚守在朋友爱人身边。

Only the chinese horoscopes are more accurate HAHAHAHA

Oh so true~
When reading point 5 I was like that's not true. but the 2nd sentence in point 5 i really LOL-ed. Love being late and dislike waiting for others :D

Yeah and that stay calm, keep cool image. But lots of things are happening internally that noone knows. 

I like no9. Kind, and will stand by my friends and family~

Chingus

To all my chingu, u have made my day today ^^ it has been good and funny~ all those tweets and whatsapp msgs really are jjang. <3

Hope tmr will be a good day too!~

Stomach aches

Somehow it feels like my stomach that hurts when its my heart T_T
Should i happy or not? He's my friend, and she's my friend too. Both are good friends... And obviously i'm the middle man again.

Too tired of this. Too tired of being the middleman. When will it ever be my turn to be the lead? *le sigh* and keep sighing... Waiting doesn't seem to lead me anywhere.

So do i hope that his confession will fail and she rejects him? Or do i hope that he and she gets together, and poor me forever stuck in the middle? Hais. Why oh why does things work like that.

There's a limit to the jealousy and envy that 1 can tolerate. I know its the age where people get together, had lasted for a long time, and perhaps a few years down the road it'll be all the pretty weddings.

I seriously hope I won't be the only one left on the shelf, unappealing and rotting, when all those around me, though imperfect, get handpicked and living happily ever after...

I should start investing my trust, and hope for better returns. But what is a reliable investment? Such a difficult question.

I need some release. Any sad videos for me to cry with? 😥

Virgo Star Sign

6.【处女座】

揭下面具以后的处女座处事冷静、沉着、内敛、稳重；容不得别人的背叛，对背叛自己的人绝不原谅，对敌人下手狠毒，冷血至及。 面具下：多疑、没安全感。他们用情至深，在爱上一个人之后是绝对不会轻言放弃的。但他们只会默默的爱着，悲情暗恋者的典范；内心其实非常的脆弱，非常敏感。

处女座谈感情理性居多，并不是欠缺热情，而是同理心强的他们好像每天在写考卷，明明现在很想你，又怕你在忙所以就没打电话了。明明病的头顶冒烟，怕你陪她太累就告诉你病快好了。谨慎的经营爱情，自我要求不能无理取闹，出发点不自私但让对方无法感受被需要。

处女座很害怕孤单 。处女座懂得浪漫 幻想 。处女座人细心 温柔 大方 善良。处女座很讨厌别人骗他。处女座常常被人说是忽冷忽热。处女座常常让人觉得他们闷闷不乐。处女座对陌生人无视,对不熟的人外热内冷。处女座是不用对别人放电却可以将人电到的唯一星座~~

处女男，幽默，喜欢思考关注讨论人性、社会等，爱看美女，有时很懒，很多事无所谓不在乎，对未来没有明确计划。只喜欢跟有共同话题思想共鸣的人沟通，喜欢自由，不喜欢别人缠，喜欢漂亮、特别、想法比较相同、会享受生活、自主的女孩，假装不懂却把事情看的很透彻。渴望爱却不知怎么保留爱。

处女座怕工作做不好，怕给别人添麻烦这种忧虑心理也会产生一定的弱点。如喜欢钻牛角尖、烦躁、吹毛求疵，无意中引起了紧张的气氛，过多的思考与理智会限制你的视野，加剧对自我生活的控制。担心新事物的出现会打乱原有的一切秩序，并会把自己孤立起来。

Cr: facebook.com/sharing4you


This is the first ever description of a Virgo, that so accurately describes me. Can't say about the love part yet, but the rest are really accurate. After this I'm further convinced that I am a true Virgo! :D 

Perfectionist mindset. Noone can ever tell that I have a perfectionist mindset because I just don't show it. But it's in my character actually... Besides, there are manyyy things about myself I had given up on. But I do excel to be the best, if not in school then in my work. If not my appearance then in my character. I know not to demand too highly of others, but I still do demand highly of myself. I do think that once I put my heart into something, I will really do my best.

I believe in miracles. I believe in the unexpected. Perhaps too much of this beliefs make me exceptionally lazy. 

Maybe this shows why I prefer to change others but not myself. I know I am not the best to start with, but if i see others becoming even better, I genuinely feel happy. 

I like to create perfect people in my head. Perhaps that's the reason why I prefer books to drama. Because the people acting in dramas will never ever be better than those i create in my head. Expectations, as many would say. 

I like being alone, or is it because I hate to disturb others? That's why I hardly make the first move. Without a reason, I won't do it. I just feel really bad when i disturb others. Or did I already outgrew the stage of disturbing people, since thats what I did a lot in Sec sch?

My thoughts: if I was to tell anyone about what i think or feel, it usually gets processed in my head a thousand times over. So most of the time I end up chickening out and losing the courage to do it. A simple sentence can be phrased and rephrased countless times, until it makes perfect sense in a way others will not misunderstand. Yes the Virgo mind is really complicated. Especially mine. 

I'm simple on the outside. In fact, I don't take care of my appearance. I don't see the need to. That's why half the time I end up being so crazy and out of place, until I stand in front of a mirror. But once the mirror is gone, I'm back to being image-less. I'm still slowly giving myself more reasons to take care of my image more, but it's going to take a lot more time and self-persuasion in order to see the change in me. You give me a comment about myself, I'll take days, weeks or months to process it, then give myself more advantages than disadvantages, before I slowly start to change.  And the more often you give me those comments, the more I tend to ignore it and push it even further back. 

Change to me is self-realisation, not because of someone else prodding you, or insisting you to change. 

Best dream ever

Why am i blogging so much these 2 days? Hehehe. But at least this time shall be a good thing bout me ^^

I dreamt about me on my first date at a tzi char stall. Well i woke up very happy after that ^^ but if only it was true...

Anyways, the dream was quite realistic hahaha. I was being so shy throughout the whole dream LOL. N before he even told me to be his gf we got interrupted by another friend. HAHAHA.

If dreams were representative of my thoughts during daytime, this pretty much explains what nonsense i usually think about. At least the male lead in the dream is someone real and not an idol.

And this makes me feel like making the first move even though i still wouldn't dare to. Dilemmas forever...

Smart sis

Continuation from what i posted just now...

Smart sis went out in nice dress, came back in tshirt and shorts. Fully prepared huh. 1 year liao still dun want let parents know. Humph. Baddddd. This kind of secret relationship is baddddddd!

Maybe i should make it a habit to stalk my sis regularly. But nvm at least i have my ally aka cheryl kam. She will retweet or reply certain tweets my sis have with grayson ah. N since his account locked i cant be too stalkerish and stalk him. I shall stalk my sis! Heh heh heh *evil laugh*

Butttttttt i haven't ranted enough... I'm like locked at home coz i need to study for exams, and i'm like sooooo deprived of going out. Moreover noone asks me to go out ㅠ.ㅠ I need my good food! RAWRRRR! Poor me with no friends ><

Drifting apart, further and further away... I really miss my friends, though i don't have many to start with... And those who used to be the closest proximity is now miles apart overseas! WAAAAAA

WHY WHY WHY CAN'T I TALK TO MOST OF THEM PROPERLY... I need to kick the habit of receiving and not giving 😢

Lonely girl is lonely

Soooo today my sister went out wearing a nice dress. At first i was thinking "hmm is she going for an image change?" or "she's going for a date and she's going to eat at somewhere special"... Then bam i realised that today is her first anniversary with Grayson =.= THAT EXPLAINS.

So the forever alone girl is having jealousy spasms, but doesn't know who she can rant to. And here i am on my bloggie, hoping that this will make me feel better. Gotta stop being the jealous forever alone girl and continue being the nerdy hardworking girl. HAIS.

Stupid prelims. Stupid exams

From forever alone me.

WAEEEEEE

sad life is sad...

Pool Guys

"Your sister seems to like guys who play pool"

Oh so true. HAHAHAHA. As said by KK. And i do agree. There's another witness CK to this statement, and she can even add names to it.

I'm too random. Effects of not wanting to study hais 😪

Dmtn showcase

I really really really want to go DMTN's Singapore showcase in april... I don't have sch on that day either. I dunno why i want to go so badly too... Maybe coz I feel bad i didn't support them as much. But i'm still a Dalmate! Moreover, the Cat 2 and Cat 3 tickets are on discount....... It's really a lot more reasonable like that! HAIS. HAIS. HAIS.

HOWWWWWW should i or should i not!! I dreamt about Daniel leh! LOLOLOL.


Why am i becoming a crazy fangirl at this age...

Break

Last night...
Sis: "EH i break already you know?"
Me: "Really ah? I knew it wouldn't last long..."
Sis: "What you thinking! I say i study break!"
Me: *digs hole to bury myself*
Sis: *endless laughter*

People dun anyhow use break ah. It represents a lot of things =.=

2013 Resolutions

Well even though it's already the 6th of January , 6 days past the new year, this can still be called the new year resolutions since another year is not coming anytime too soon right. Hahaha. Okay so I will list out my resolutions and let's see how much of it will be fulfilled by year end ;)

1) Study consistently
2) Start exercising ><
3) Go out more often (ie with friends)
4) Talk more and truthfully (along the lines of socialise more)
5) Try to stop sleeping in lectures
6) Think about my future, life mottos, interests, passion, etc
7) Take more notice about my appearance (or maybe do something about it or change it)
8) Learn to let loose of myself
9) Sleep early =.=
10) Get a boyfriend

10 resolutions, or more like a wishlist for myself.
About studies, it's self explanatory.
About myself, i enjoy my alone time too much that i hardly know how to share it anymore. Hence the need to re-learn how to socialise again. I do find silence comfortable most of the time :x But i know that what i find comfy doesn't mean others find it comfy too...
About the last point, guys take the first step please! Hahahahaha. Till this age idk how does this thing work... And about how my friends and family try to matchmake me, i really appreciate it though i still think it's quite laughable hehe. Heng the matchmaking haven't involve meetups if not i will die many times over HAHAHA. What I always say don't mean what I think with regards to boys... That's why i need to work on talking truthfully, but my mind is still obsessed about whatever nonchalent image that i am trying to uphold.

Maybe someone should try and get me drunk till i'm spewing nonsense HAHAHAHA. I'm curious as to what I will say too LOL.